Hat Trick Tasertricks Edition
by Rhiannon A. Christy
Summary: Five unconnected Tasertricks oneshots in my Hat Trick Series. Various ratings. 1.Midgardian Tradition arless ades of Blue 4. My Captain d The Door Mouse Said...
1. Midgardian Tradition

Hat-Trick: Tasertricks #1

Song: Paper Gangsta ~ Lady Gaga

Genre: Romance/Friendship

Spoiler Alert: Slight Dark World spoilers.

Rating: T

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**Midgardian Tradition **

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There were things that Loki enjoyed about Midgard just as much as there were things he loathed. He had yet to determine just which category his current situation landed in. He leaned back against the bar, heavy glass filled with alcohol in one hand while the other played with the hair of the woman beside him.

"Remind me again why you thought it necessary that we attend this…revelry?" Looking out at the various writhing bodies he couldn't identify individual features, just a collected mass of sweaty flesh.

"Because it is essential to your rehabilitation, plus it is your brother's birthday party." Darcy had never thought she would end up as babysitter to the previously thought to be dead Norse god, but then again she hadn't thought aliens and superheroes were real either. Still, there she was in the middle of a club curled up against Loki as she watched Thor flail around on the dance floor. It was surreal.

"I fail to see how being thrust in the middle of this den of sin is supposed to show me the error of my ways." Parties on Asgard could get quite decedent, but it seemed humans took it to a whole new level. He swore that over half the people in the place were about ready to fornicate right there in front of everyone. He doubted when his brother dragged him back to Midgard so he could be 'taught a lesson' that this was really what anyone had in mind.

"Shut up, this is supposed to help you integrate with our culture. You're meant to learn about our world, this is a normal tradition for us." Darcy took a sip of her drink, making a face at the overly sweet taste. That would be the last time she allowed Jane to order for her.

"I highly doubt that, in the entire time I have known you this is the first time you have ventured out to such an establishment." It was one of the things he enjoyed about Darcy; she wasn't a very loud woman. She enjoyed her music, but she seemed to prefer to stay at the tower instead of going out every weekend with the other young interns. That had been how their strange sort of relationship had formed, starting with late nights in the common room and ending in long and detailed discussions about world politics.

"Well, not anymore. I used to, back before I took my internship with Jane. I was like a lot of the other students in my dorm. Weekends were filled with bars, clubs, drinking, and just generally having fun." It still amazed her sometimes that she had been able to keep her grades up, mostly with her old dorm-mate Jess, that woman knew how to party.

"Then I find myself in the strange position of being thankful to Jane for something." Taking a slow drink of the scotch he had ordered he allowed his eyes to run up and down Darcy's figure. She was young like so many in the club, but her style was completely different. He had heard the Captain remark on it before they left, calling it pin-up. He hadn't enjoyed the way the man's eyes had taken her in, it didn't matter that the only thing between them was friendship.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She knew that Jane and Loki had this weird sort of respect and affection for each other, but she also knew that neither of them would ever acknowledge it.

"She has obviously had an influence on you, otherwise you would still visit places such as this and I doubt the two of us would have had the chance to get to know each other." He moved the hand that had been playing with her hair down her neck as he moved her closer until the tip of his nose practically touched hers.

"Now that would have been a terrible thing. I guess I'm thankful for her as well." She laughed as she pushed up on her toes so she could kiss him. This was even more surprising and unexpected than anything else that had happened in her life. Not that she would trade anything for it.

"You do realize that flattering me will not get you out of dancing?" Darcy laughed as Loki groaned and quickly downed the rest of his scotch in one swallow. He might complain about it now, but she knew in the end he would thank her; there were advantages to this style of dancing and she would make sure she took every one of them.

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Author's Note: Ok, a short one to start off with. There will be five in all for Tasertricks, five for Thundertaser, five for Irontaser, five for Taserhawk, five for Darcy/Coulson, five for Sheildshock, and five for Ducky. But I'm not sure if I'm going to do them in order or do one for each ship first.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	2. Starless

Hat-Trick: Tasertricks #2

Song: Rhiannon ~ Stevie Nicks

Genre: Fantasy/Romance-sort of.

Spoiler Alert: Nothing unless you haven't even seen the first movie.

Rating: T

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Starless

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There is but one realm that Loki found himself frightened of. It was a realm between the living and the dead, inhabited not by physical beings, but by shadows and dreams. Few knew of its existence, and even fewer knew how to get there.

Loki had first traveled there when he was but a child. He had watched his mother as she would steal away into the gardens at night, rest her back against one particular tree, and fall into a trance. For months he would follow her, hide himself in the crevasses of an old statue, and just watch. He had been so young he hadn't known what danger he was putting himself in; only that it was the one thing he and his mother had that was just them.

She had caught him one night, her trance interrupted when his foot had slipped and he had toppled from the monument. He had never seen his mother so frightened. She had flown from her perch beneath the tree and to his side. She had chastised him with tears practically falling from her eyes.

_ "You mustn't be here." _

_ "Why. What is it that you do out here every night, Mother?"_

_ "You mustn't ever be here."_

_ "Tell me, and I shall stay away."_

_ "Loki, my son, you are much too young to understand."_

_ "I am just as capable as Thor, more so. Would you tell him?"_

_ "No, this is too dangerous for him."_

_ "For Father?"_

_ "Very much so."_

_ "For you?"_

_ "Yes, even for me."_

_ "Then why do you do it?"_

_ "Because I must. Now promise me, you will never return here. Promise me."_

_ "I promise."_

Loki had been too headstrong to listen. He had thought himself stronger than his brother, and he thought if he could show it his father would be proud. He hadn't realized that where this was concerned he was the weakest.

He had waited a month, hoping his mother would think he had listened to her. He had stolen out of his room and hidden away in that old monument, watching as his mother once again preformed her ritual. He watched and he waited, and when she had finally pulled out from her trance and left, Loki approached the old tree.

He sat down on the patch of ground still warmed from his mother, curling his legs inward so the gangly things did not stick out in the moonlight and give him away. He pressed the back of his head against the rough trunk of the tree and closed his eyes.

The world around him went black as pitch, pinpoints of light flashing in and out every so often until a swirl of amethyst light surrounded him. For minutes or hours, he did not know, Loki was the center of the maelstrom of light. When everything calmed he found himself in a sea of vast nothingness, only himself and the most beautiful woman he had ever seen remained.

She stood much shorter than his mother, with thick locks of wood-brown hair waving down her graceful back. Her eyes, shimmering blue gems set within milk skin, gazed at him with such happiness that Loki faltered in his resolution to remain strong.

_ "You should have listened to your mother."_

_ "I am strong, I fear you not!"_

_ "You should, your mother does."_

_ "I will show her you are not a thing to be feared."_

_ "And how will you do this, you do not even know who I am."_

_ "I…you…who are you then?"_

_ "I am the ruler of this realm. I am death, and I am life. I am the shadow that lives in your dreams, and I am your dreams."_

_ "That is unhelpfully vague."_

_ "Such as am I. And what would you call yourself?"_

_ "I am Loki, son of Odin and Frigga, Prince of Asgard."_

_ "Are you though?"_

_ "I know I am."_

_ "You know this with everything that you are and will be, with what you could and should be?"_

_ "I am, without a doubt."_

_ "Then, Dear Prince, you should hold onto that and never let anyone convince you otherwise."_

_ "Who would try to say otherwise?"_

_ "Those that know what was, what is, what will be, and what could and will never be."_

_ "You speak strangely."_

_ "Or is it you, and I speak normally?"_

_ "I…you are confusing."_

_ "And you are not? You defied your mother and you do not even know why."_

_ "I do too! I came to show Father that I am stronger than Thor."_

_ "And how shall you do this? Odin does not even know your mother comes to me."_

_ "I…I…"_

_ "No matter what you do, Odin will never see how strong you truly are."_

_ "Why, why won't he?"_

_ "Because he wishes not to see what I see, because he sees what has been and is sacred to see what will be."_

_ "You think I am strong, stronger than Thor?"_

_ "Oh yes, you are stronger than even Odin."_

_ "I am…you are right I am."_

_ "I am always right, always. Now, my little prince, will you defy your mother again and come see me tomorrow?"_

_ "If you wish it."_

_ "Good boy."_

From then on Loki would visit the strange woman, the Queen of the Starless Realm. He grew closer to her without ever knowing her name, and as he grew older his heart attached itself to her. She became his light and his dark, his shadow and his dream, and he unknowingly destroyed everything his mother worked for.

_ "You have grown into a handsome man. Why do you still visit me when I am sure there are thousands of Asgardian women after your heart?"_

_ "I hold little interest in those women. They are plain and vacant compared to you. Surely you must realize this."_

_ "Does your heart belong to me then?"_

_ "It has since I first laid eyes on you."_

_ "This is good."_

_ "Does your heart belong to me?"_

_ "Since I first laid eyes on you. You were always meant to be mine; always."_

It was only months before Thor's coronation when his mother finally caught him. He had remained too long, caught up in the pleasures that his Queen freely gave. He had been forcefully pulled away, his eyes opening to the sight of his frantic mother.

_ "You promised me you would not return here!"_

_ "I am strong, Mother. I'm safe, see."_

_ "You do not know what it is you are dealing with."_

_ "You need not worry, she would never hurt me."_

_ "She…you have talked to her then?"_

_ "Of course, from the first night."_

_ "How long? Loki, how long?"_

_ "Years. I do not understand why it is any of your business."_

_ "She promised me she would not take you."_

_ "You…why would you make her promise something like that?"_

_ "Loki, she is not what you think. She wants you."_

_ "I know, and she has me."_

_ "No! She promised."_

_ "I gave myself to her…freely!"_

_ "Oh, Loki. You shouldn't have, she will destroy you."_

_ "She would never hurt me."_

_ "She already has."_

Loki should have listened to his mother then, but he refused to be separated from his Queen. He allowed himself to listen to the whispers she breathed into his ears while in bed. Whispers of power, of how to earn his father's love. And so he visited the ice giants and he set in motion a series of events that would lead to his downfall.

It was when he found himself hurtling downward into the abyss that he recalled the image from the Destroyer. There, in the middle of the desert on Midgard, stood his Queen. She had looked up at the great metal behemoth looking all the world like a mortal. All except for the faint glow of her eyes and the devilish smile spreading across her lips.

There, amongst the swirling stars and the vast emptiness below he heard a familiar sigh.

"You were always meant to be mine. Always."

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Author's Note: Um…I have no earthly clue what in the world this is. I was going to go for a magical!Darcy, but this sort of whatever happened. So there ya go.

Now, I know it has been awhile. I've been busy lately, between getting ready for school, which starts Friday, and working on developing what is turning out to be a monster of a Shieldshock, I haven't got much else done.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	3. Shades Of Blue

Hat-Trick: Tasertricks #3

Song: Caribbean Blue ~ Enya

Genre: Romance

Spoiler Alert: Don't really think so, only unless you didn't see the very end of Thor2.

Rating: T

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Shades of Blue

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If there was one color that defined Darcy's life, it would be blue. Not purple or green like most people would guess, but blue in all its shades and hues.

Her first crush had eyes like the sky, such an unfathomable blue that Darcy spent most of her time trying to describe it in great detail in truly horrendous poetry. The house in which she grew up in had been a purely elegant shade of Neptune blue, trimmed in sea-foam. She had dyed her hair smerf blue when she had been sixteen, and one couldn't forget to mention how brightly blue her own eyes were. But all of those blues were insignificant to the ones that came later…after she left Jane and the Earth to live with Loki in Asgard.

The sky of Asgard had been such a varied palate of blues during the day Darcy wished she could capture it in some way. She had tried that first year, sending for paints of oil and water, and painting great murals on the walls of her and Loki's rooms.

The sheets on which she first made love to Loki had been ocean blue. They had been a fine silk that allowed their bodies to glide over flawlessly as they twisted and turned. She had been so fond of those sheets she had commissioned several to be made and kept in stock.

Her wedding gown had been a delicate powder blue, small sapphire beads carefully hand stitched to the hem and along the collar. Loki had told her she had looked the part of future Asgardian queen in the color. Darcy refused to wear any other shade from then on out.

Her son had been wrapped in the softest blanket of Lapis, the color reflecting in his bright blue eyes. She still had the receiving blanket, tucked safely away in the trunk at the bottom of her bed. When she would lament the fact that Radulf was fully grown and married himself, she would take it out and press her face in those deep blue fibers and breathe in.

But of all those shades there was one that she treasured most. The color of her husband's true form; a form that he kept hidden from all but her. She relished in that perfect hue, in the contradicting smoothness and coarseness of his flesh. In the taste of the winter when she put her mouth to his deep navy lips. This was a blue that couldn't be matched, a blue she couldn't ever describe, but she would spend the rest of her life trying to.

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Author's Note: I wasn't sure what to do with this one. The first thought to pop into my head actually was a very sad one that ended with Darcy dying in Loki's arms….I had a better idea.

Well, only two more left in the Tasertricks bit of this Hat-trick. After those I'm going to do the Thor, so we will have five Thundertasers next.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	4. My Captain

Hat-Trick: Tasertricks #4

Song: Two Shots ~ The Musical Blades

Genre: Romance/Humor

Spoiler Alert: Nope

Rating: M

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"I'm not sure I understand the mortal obsession with pirates. They were dirty, vulgar, murders were they not?"

Darcy jolted out of her thoughts as Loki just appeared out of nowhere to right beside her on the couch. She had tried to tell him to stop, as it would one day give her a heart-attack, but Loki was Loki and he would be damned if he didn't do whatever the hell he wanted.

"They were. They smelled, they were horrible, and seriously some of the punishments they gave…it will make you sick." Darcy, like many, had grown up with the Disney version of pirates. It was either Captain Hook or Jack Sparrow. Of course, unlike many, Darcy had thought it would be fun to learn up about real pirates. They were decidedly not Captain Hook or Jack Sparrow.

"If they were so repulsive then why do you have an entire box dedicated to pirate themed items?" Loki held up several cd cases of one of her favorite pirate groups and her old Jolly Roger.

"Loki! Those were in my closet, were you going through my things?!" Though Tony had invited her to live at the tower almost three years ago, Darcy had yet to fully unpack. Jane deduced that she was subconsciously worried that Tony would realize he had made a mistake and throw them out. Darcy knew it was more that she was a lazy ass when it came to packing. Jane had just been watching too much Sherlock and should really stop with the fucking deducing.

"As I am currently in possession of items that were previously in your closet, I think it is obvious that I've been looking through your belongings."

"Well don't!" Darcy moved forward to snatch the cds from his hand, but Loki was quick…and also magic…and shifted away from her and to the other side of the couch.

"You have yet to answer my question."

"Actually I did. You posed the other as a statement, not a question." Darcy laughed as Loki's face did that thing where he looked like he had smelled a whole load of crap. It would never stop being funny to her.

"Fine. Darcy, would you elaborate on why mortals are obsessed with pirates?"

Darcy held out her hand, nicely this time, and gave Loki a look as he set the cds in her hand.

"It depends really. It isn't really, real pirates that were obsessed with. They actually do still exist, and no one would want to meet one of them. But, I think it is the idea of the pirate. Pirates embody freedom, a life tied to no one, filled with treasure and adventure. And of course there is the fact that the media has a habit of portraying them as sexual objects. It is kind of like the whole thing with vampires and werewolves I guess." Darcy held the cds to her chest as though she feared Loki would try to take them away again.

Though she hadn't been able to go in years, Darcy was a grade A Renne. It had started when she had been a little girl and her dad had taken her to the local faire. It hadn't been anything spectacular, just a small town faire. It had been held in an abandoned parking-lot, and had probably only ten tents at most. Even so, Darcy had been mesmerized at the performers in all their finery. After that their family started using their vacations to visit various fairs throughout the states. At sixteen she had even started working at her local faire. She hadn't told any of her friends, but for four years she had been the fairy Wisteria. She actually still had the costume…not that she could fit into it anymore.

"Do you find pirates sexy?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, not all of them, but I have a list." Oh, did she have a list. Poor Johnny wasn't even on the top.

"I am still unconvinced."

Of course he was. Darcy shook her head as she opened one of the cds to show Loki a picture on the inside of the cover. This captain was the man on the top of her list. That was saying something as she lived with fucking superheroes.

"His breasts are bigger than yours!"

"Pecs, his pecs. And hush, no picking on my Captain." Ok, so he had pecs that could rival Thor's, but Hot Damn they were so lickable. Or, well, she figured they would be.

"I'm still…"

"Unconvinced, yeah I figured. I'll tell ya what. Go back and get the box you got these from."

"What are you going to do?"

"We are going to have a movie marathon." Darcy had planned on reading all day, but really, it didn't take much to convince her to marathon pirate movies. And, well, if she could convince Loki of something…well all the better.

* * *

"So, what did you think?" They had watched all of POTC, Peter Pan, Cutthroat Island, and Hook. She would have continued on, but she could barely keep her eyes open.

"Interesting."

"Is that a good or a bad thing?" She hated it when he was like this. She never could figure out what the hell he mean. Stupid Loki, trying to be an enigma and all that crap.

"Good, but I must confess that I much prefer the mermaids to the pirates."

Darcy rolled her eyes. He might be an alien god-prince thing, but he was still a man.

"You would."

"Do you not enjoy them?"

"Oh, I do. I always wanted to be Ariel when I was a little girl." She wouldn't admit it, but when she had been six she had taken the sheet off her bed and wrapped it around her legs until she had fins before hopping out to the wading pool. Though her mother had been annoyed at the fact she had used her bed sheet, her parents thought it had been the cutest thing and had taken pictures that Darcy so regretted now.

"Would you like to be her now?"

"What? I'm a…Holy Shit!" It would seem impossible, but sometimes Darcy forgot just what powers Loki had. Looking down at herself, Darcy realized she really needed to start remembering, as she had fins. Not like sheet fins, or even those cool as fuck fins you can buy off the internet, no, like real fins. She also had no top, the girls were free and swinging.

"God damn, Loki, you have to…oh…" Darcy blinked up at the alien prince turned fuck hot pirate. Oh shit, screw the pecs and arms, this was what sexy pirate was all about.

"I have to what?"

"Fuck me…"

"Hmm, I plan on it, but I think we should probably set the stage."

Darcy yelped as Loki reached forward and picked her up into his arms.

"Hold on."

Suddenly Darcy wasn't tired anymore.

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Author's Note: So a drinking song turned into this, but what the hell, who doesn't want pirate Loki? Also, I'm kind of so ready for the fair. Sadly with everything going on I didn't my new costume done, so I will just be going as Captain Bentley again. That's ok, pirates are always fun.

Also, if you like pirate stuff, and like raunchy, suggestive songs, go check out The Musical Blades. I LOVE them, they are so fun to watch live.

Oh and the breast line, yeah my Da said that the first time he saw a pic of the band.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	5. And The Door Mouse Said

Hat-Trick: Tasertricks #5

Song: Fill Your Heart ~ David Bowie

Genre: Drama/Dark Romance-NotRomance

Spoiler Alert: Eh, not really.

Rating: M

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And The Door Mouse Said…

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Loki looked down at the woman in his arms. She had not been his target, but Jane Foster was a lot more protected than she had anticipated. This little one on the other hand, this one refused to listen to the others. She hadn't wanted to give up her freedom, and it had cost her in the end. She had been so easy to grab, it had been pathetic actually.

She had been harder to break, but not impossible. All mortals longed for happiness, to belong to someone and give themselves fully to them. He had given her that, filled her heart with declarations of love. He made himself her world, and he knew she would do anything for him. Even leading him to those who had once been her friends.

"I don't know, Loki, they've done nothing to us." Darcy looked up at her lover. He had found her when she hadn't realized she had been lost. He had taken her in and cared for her, shown her what it was to love, to truly love.

"They wish to take you from me, they would have us separated." Loki stroked his hand along her hair, his fingers catching in the knots they had made there.

"They would never…I know them…I…" Darcy leaned into his touch, her eyes closing as she tried to concentrate on what she was saying.

"You don't know them. Everything you think you know, it is all in your mind. They put it there, made you believe things about them, about me that is untrue." Loki nibbled down the column of her neck, his tongue flicking out to taste her every now and then.

"But it seems so real." A sigh left her mouth as Loki's hands left her hair to travel down her sweat dampened body. She loved it when he used his hands in tandem with his mouth, he was truly divine.

"I know, Love, but they took you from me once before. They wiped me from your mind and placed all those thoughts where I should have been. They made you believe I'm evil, that I wanted to destroy this world." He could feel her practically vibrate with pleasure and worked to bring her to the brink only to hold off as she mewled for more.

"Why would they do that? They were my friends?" Darcy didn't know if she had meant the last to be a question or not, only that she would do anything for Loki to continue and finish her.

"They never were, they only wanted to use you to get to me. I made a promise to protect this realm, they want to destroy it and will do anything to get rid of me. That includes taking you from me to break me." Loki applied just enough pressure to bring Darcy right to the brink, but not enough to send her over the edge.

"Don't let them take me again, don't let them take you from my head again. Please, Loki!" Darcy couldn't imagine ever being without her Prince. It scared her that the others had so easily taken him from her own mind.

"I won't. You are mine, I will never allow them to have you again." With the gentlest of movements he sent her reeling, holding her close as she worked to steady her breathing. "Now, I need your help if we are going to keep them away from you forever."

"I will do whatever you ask of me." Darcy wrapped her arms around Loki, holding him as tightly as she could. He was the only safe, only real thing in her life.

"I know you will."

* * *

Author's Note: So that wasn't supposed to happen. Anyway, this is the last of the Tasertrick Hat-trick oneshots. Next there will be five Thundertaser.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


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